Friday, March 11, 2011

Misconceptions of a Spinster


Misconceptions of a Spinster

1.     Old.
2.     Ugly.
3.     Cat Lovers.
4.     Never been kissed.
5.     Knitting needles holding up gray streaked bun.
6.     Did I mention ugly?
7.     Floral patterns.
8.     Home Shopping Network.
9.     Socially awkward.
10. Bitter.

As you can see, our species has been desecrated by the scoffs of the ignorant.
Allow us to shed some light on the situation.

What a Real Spinster Looks Like

1.     Young.
2.     A Looker.
3.     Intelligently Classy.
4.     Had a plethora of kisses.
5.     Health conscious but not afraid to have a Snack Attack.*
6.     Not embarrassed to admit their age.
7.     Has a life plan or at least pretends to.
8.     Confident enough to stay home on Friday nights.
9.     Unruly emotional at times.
10.Many suitors but not sold yet.

*Snack Attack: verb. To enter a store of grocery and purchase and/or inhale an assortment of unmentionable treats. (i.e. crunchy Cheetos, Orange Dream Bars, and chocolate cake doughnuts. See also atetoomuch and undotopbuttonofjeans.

Cast away your fears.
Breathe in.
Breath out.
Taste the sweet nectar of freedom.
Toss your self-consciousness to the winds and live.

You are entering a sisterhood of chic sophistication with a hint of sass, a dash of optimism and a smidgen of sexiness. 

Welcome to the Hood,
Charlotte and Gertrude

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