Thursday, April 21, 2011

A white veiled occasion

We were recently at a spinster’s convention, aka one of our dear friend’s wedding.

We, along with two other spinsters indulged ourselves in their array of desserts. After gorging on free food, we heard a crackly voice over a microphone (that was too loud for comfort) bellow that dancing was to begin.
 Oh. Perfect. Torture.
As we could see there were very slim pickings in the room, we plopped onto the couch. The bride and her sweetheart took the dance floor as they graced us with the newlywed dance.
While pretending to be happy, a brutish woman without a tactful bone in her body; turns to us and asks venomously,
“Doesn’t this make you want to get married?”
Apparently this woman left the ‘hood (aka spinsterhood) long ago and forgot to bring her class. We, horrified, at the darts she aimed to our very souls, smiled and said, “Haha…yeah….”but our menacing eyes said otherwise. 

Now, mawagge. Mawagge is what bwings us togever today. Wuv, twu wuv. That bwessed awangement. That dweam. Wiffin a dweam.
We spinsters will be the first to give a huzzah at the news of your engagement. We will be the first to slap you on the back. Toast you even, at your wedding dinner. Peace and Blessings. Peace and Blessings. However, we still require your sensitivity and understanding.
Please, be gentle.

Peace and Blessings,

Gertie and Char

1 comment:

  1. Okay genius AGAIN! I love the line about she left the hood and forgot to bring her class. So funny.