How to Spot a Playa

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An email we received recently:

Hello ladies!

I think you're fantastic and your blog has rescued me from my deepest darkest spinster moods! I have a question-- when is it appropriate for a foxy female to ask a dashing gentleman for his number? How can one tell if that same guy is just a flirt in general-- or even...*gulp*... if he's a player?

Sincerely,

Your hopelessly confused spinster friend

Our response:

Dear Spinster Friend,

In general, it is best to wait for the guy to ask for your number. But that doesn’t mean you can’t flirtatiously help him out…

·      “We should hang out again!”

·      “Call me next time you go to the University men’s soccer game!”

·      “I never see you anymore! Can we change that?”

·      “Can you send me that picture?”

All of these statements should be followed by him saying “Well let me get your number!” You can’t give it to him any easier than that. And if he doesn’t get it, the caveman doesn’t deserve you.

However, if you are hanging out with a bunch of people and the moment is right you can casually ask for it. That’s how groups of guys start hanging out with girls-with one brave member of the group getting the number of a member of the other group. You will then become the ultimate bridge between the groups.

           

How to Spot a Playa:
Player: noun.  Male who wishes to be an all-star in the dating arena. He aspires to be the defender, mid-fielder, and forward all at the same time. His phone is full of numbers and he uses several a day. He may have a morning, afternoon, and evening girlfriend.

Is it possible to tame a player? Perhaps. Nothing is impossible ladies.

Trying to snag a player is high risk, high reward.

Typical player moves:

•  He uses terms of endearment with lots of girls (baby gurl)
• He calls girls late at night to hang out.
•  Gives routine compliments to lots of girls         (Hey-look’in good!)
•  Like Tuesday Tennis boy he has a go-to activity to do with girls (hot-tubbing, Disney movie night, long boarding and slurpiees…)
• Ask around! All females have a secret underground network in which they dish information on other guys. 
• For example: We were waiting in line at a concert the other night with a fellow Spinster and she was telling us about this guy she was trying to figure out. Through the craziest “small world” connection Char had known that he was a bad egg and gave the Spinster the dish on the fella.

Happy Playa Hunting!

Gert and Char