“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Sometimes we get scared. It’s okay. There are lots of things to be scared about. Like…
What should I major in?
Who should I marry?
Should I go to grad school or travel for a year?
How can I singlehandedly establish world peace?
What color swimsuit should I get for this season?
What color swimsuit should I get for this season?
All understandable, legitimate fears.
But we’re here today to tell you those are the least of your worries.
We have found some things you should REALLY be scared of. And since we’re all scientific, we’re going to give you the full name.
Lutropublicaphobia: Fear of public restrooms.
Arrhenphobia Fear of men.
Pteronophobia Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Barophobia Fear of gravity.
Obesophobia Fear of getting fat.
Cacophobia Fear of ugliness.
Phronemophobia Fear of thinking.
Hellenologophobia Fear of complex scientific terminology.
Scriptophobia Fear of writing in public.
Teleophobia Fear of definite plans.
Phalacrophobia Fear of becoming bald.
Leukophobia Fear of the color white.
Macrophobia Fear of long waits.
Mnemophobia Fear of memories.
Optophobia Fear of opening one's eyes.
See? There were all these things you didn’t even know you could be scared of! Now you can let your inner scardey cat go wild!
Some of our own made up personal phobias are:
Toolongconvophobia: Fear of first dates going too long.
Nightowlphobia: Fear of being awake past 10 p.m.
Troublemakerphobia: Fear of Enablers.
Lackofundsphobia: Fear of not being able to shop @ J. Crew
Needless to say, we all have Polyphobia: Fear of many things.
But it’s okay, at least you know you are not alone in your fear of being alone.
Hiding under the covers,
Gertrude and Charlotte
This is the best thing I have read this week. OH if we were acquainted in real life (and not recluses in our respective cupboards under the stairs,) we would definitely be friends.
ReplyDeleteThis will be shown to my dear friend with whom I also blog (and discuss) the woes of dating life. http://ourtwentyfirstyear.blogspot.com/2011/12/thing-about-dating.html
Your Valentine's Day boyfriend game is the best thing I have ever heard of.
I was thinking the exact same thing while reading your blog. I thought, "Wow. We would be friends." I just texted Gertie and told her to check out your blog. We are definitely on the same page when it comes to Spinster dating. Can't wait to read more of your posts!
DeleteWow I fear that I didn't know the names of my fears. But am also relieved that I do not fear everything. For example I do not have Teleophobia. I actually fear people who do. So does that mean I have Telephobia-phonia? But I do have Macrophobia and the worst kind. I think its metastasized to my liver.
ReplyDelete