Friday, April 27, 2012

Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em

*Well ladies, since our prayers were not fully answered then we just have to make do with what we have.

Like it or not ESPN and Sports Center are not going anywhere soon so lets use it to our advantage shall we?

If you cant beat em join em.

Here are some helpful hints on how to talk sports with a guy.

While watching, try to balance out talking about things you like and following the game:
  • We know you really want to tell him how ridiculously long your class presentations went today and how the guy sitting next to you on the bus smelled liked lawn clippings and read over your shoulder, but remember you are also pretending to be a sports expert. 
  • We know you are all excellent at talking about the things that actually interest you so we will give you the other boring half of the conversation, which will be sports.

Great Go-To Phrases:

What?! Number _____ was totally off-sides!
            Any number between 0-99 is usually safe. This tactic is usable in virtually every sport.

“Nowdidnt he play for ___________?
            Any other team. Guys love knowing the right answer. Warning: Make sure you say a different team in the same sport. Your cover would be blown if you were watching basketball then brought up a football team.

“Man our defense is KILLING us tonight.
            Use this phrase anytime your team is behind.

We are really covering the field/court/ice tonight!
            Use this phrase anytime the guy gets excited about something that happened.

Finally, commenting about the size/speed/agility/haircut/tattoos of any of the players at any time will earn you points.

Just remember ladies, this is not about trying to be someone you are not. Its about securing a second date.

Secretly plotting the demise of Sports Center,

Char and Gert

p.s. You want a crazy awesome thank-goodness-it's-Friday song? 

Andy Grammar. Fine By Me. 

Car dancing is a requirement while listening.


  1. That is such a fantastic song!! Also, LOVE the advice, I just may use this!! :)

  2. Yes! Thank you for the advice! This will definitely be used...

  3. ohhhhh i have said those things before... and they saw right through me. maybe i needed to say them with more confidence? thats it. confidence is key. faking them into thinking you know what they're talking about is key. fun advice kids. and fun song.

  4. oh man... this kills me. I have gotten myself into trouble by asking which quarter it was in a soccer game, and bringing up the Suns when talking about baseball and not basketball. Let us all pray that once we are settled down on Superbowl sunday and we are neck deep in diapers our husbands will learn to turn off the sports center.

  5. Oh, dear. This is a wonderful post. It's hilarious, and yet I dread the expansion of the "bro" personality - or the sports obsession in general. In any case, if this strategy downplays ESPN in the long run, I entirely back it. On the other hand, I hate to see honorable and beautiful women settle for such drivel. Perhaps one day, the male half of this race will learn to enjoy things that matter.

    P.S. I love this blog.

  6. This is just so awesome :)
    Thank you guys!